A life to remember, living with no regrets. That sums up how my sister Angie lived.
I remember hearing her say “oh sis, you will sleep when you die!” She was bold in her approach to life, laughing often, traveling when the opportunity arose, clearance shopping and always giving to those in need. Audacious is one who is willing to take surprisingly bold risks. If you knew Angie, you know this describes her perfectly. It was nothing for Angie to pack the car up and take a road trip to visit cousins almost 11 hours away or gather a few friends and hit the trails for a long days hike. Better yet, grab a bikini and flip flops and hit the beach for the weekend. Unplanned, yet totally exciting is how she lived. There were very few rules in her life and those she did have, she didn’t follow well. She enjoyed cooking and became a vegetarian when it was totally not the “cool” thing to do.
Angie was a true leader at heart! Stunning in her appearance with long blond hair, beautiful blue eyes and a tall build of 6 feet. For a woman with this frame, she was defiantly an eye catcher! Not only was she stunningly beautiful, she had the brains to go with it. Angie completed 4 years of Latin and was a straight A student. She loved to read, explore and travel. She visited Paris and was able to follow in Monet’s footsteps, her favorite artist. She could have been anything, gone anywhere, as the possibilities were endless – looking at her from the outside that is.
From an early age Angie struggled with depression. The events in her life were not too much of the abnormal. I mean, no one comes from a perfect family but our life was one with love, laughter and opportunities. However, her sadness was deeply rooted. No one would understand her deep despair. The depression grew as Angie got older. As mile stones would happen in others lives such as love, marriage and children she would grow deeper in sadness because she lived without these things, which caused strain on her relationships. It was hard for her to be around those with the desires that she had. Jealously, it was not, as she wanted nothing but the best for everyone around her. It was something deeper. Destruction became apparent too all who knew her when our dad passed away and soon to follow our grandmother. Angie lived with our dad until he became ill with stage 4 lung cancer. This major transition of living alone took a massive toll on her life mentally. She suffered from separation anxiety and with his sudden illness and death she would soon find herself living 45 minutes away from family and friends. Days would pass where she would not be able to get out of bed to face the day. And then, there were days where she had found her purpose in life and was ready to conquer the world.
In her teenage years, she enjoyed journaling her thoughts. In one of her entries, she wrote feeling as though she was out in the deep blue ocean floating alone while watching others on the sandy beach enjoying life. She desperately wanted to be with people and enjoying life too, but she simply could not get there. She felt helpless and alone. And so, she stayed watching from afar. From her perspective, she was alone and far from anything or anyone that could provide comfort.
Knowing Jesus as her Lord and Savior from an early age, I believe Angie had a very special relationship with God. When we were little girls, she would read her little white bible with the red heart sticker on it to me before bed. We were not raised in church so her desire for the Lord was unique and special. It was as though God pursued this precious child in a very special way.
Even those who know and love Jesus can still struggle with deep depression. In May of 2008, Angie would bear no more and ended her life. She left behind so many that loved her and desperately miss her, and a niece that would never meet her in this life.
2HIMIGO 