Co-Parenting – Part 3

As I have been reflecting on my co-parenting journey, I have come to realize there are 3 parts to this process.

1. The process of a family splitting.
2. Deciding how you are going to deal with your new life now.
3. Dealing with the day to day aspect of being a co-parent parent.

Once 1 & 2 are established things run well, life goes on and you begin your life on a new journey. To make this process work (for me) it takes a lot of trusting God that He loves this kid more than I ever could as she is away for days, being raw with my emotions before the Lord and seeking His guidance’s EACH day.
ALL credit goes to the Lord in this! All of it!

But, it doesn’t make it easy.

I have lived this now for over 5 years and each day I awake expecting that it will become second nature and I won’t feel the separation from being apart from my daughter or I won’t dread it in the days that follow before she leaves, but again, today is not that day.
Does it ever get easy? Will I get used to it? Do I have to pretend I like it? How many more times will I have to explain it?

With each new event in my life the reality of my situation comes to light.

When I met my love from above he was a single full time parent. And once we married, the reality of my situation hit hard! My daughter does not live with me full time, but my step-daughters do. This has not been easy for me and I can tell you, I am still “trying” to adjust 2 years later.

Volunteering in my church and community has become a challenge as I have to nurture my time with my girl while at the same time teaching her what is important in life – Seeking Jesus & serving others. This is an area I have recently taken to the Lord for clarity on as I began to feel a heavy burden on me. This is when I know I am not doing things His way.

Nana & PawPaw time – They too love this kid and want to spend time alone with her so they can spoil her rotten without mommy saying no and making her use her manners. Having to let her go (again) to make memories with others is a must, but yet another situation that brings reality to light.

At times it can feel like a lonely struggle because it seems no one you know can relate. You can reach out to other families but each family is different and hearing the stories of success can make you frustrated and hearing the stories of failure can scare you to death! (Trust me – I did all the above and came up short every time) I have realized that when I am feeling mommy guilt or struggling with reality I can choose two things. I can let it consume and destroy me or I can re-direct my thoughts to empower me. And after much time of destroying myself I now choose to empower myself.

Truth talk – I am a focused momma. I have put myself 2nd for the sake of a child. I am stronger in Christ because of this.
I choose the high road today for a brighter tomorrow for her. My daughter is complete with the love from both mommy & daddy. Even in what seems to be a mess, God is using us for His message. God took broken and made beautiful!

Another thing I love to do is reflect back on pictures of the time passed. It reminds me of where we have come and where we are today.

And so… tomorrow will come and the journey will continue. I will choose to take one day at a time and when the days get heavy, I will then remember that when I am weak, then I am strong (2 Cor 12:10).

Thanks for sharing in my Co-Parenting journey.