Co-Parenting – Part 2

Working out special events and Holiday’s in your child’s life is a major decision, one that must be made and sometimes can be quite difficult.

I remember this part of the co-parenting journey and even though it was hard for me to release the control I so dearly wanted, I knew that my girl needed to make memories with daddy just as much as with mommy.

Her dad and I discussed early on the major holidays that we were not willing to miss each year and then agreed on the holidays that we would rotate every other year.

Christmas: We both want the joy of seeing that sweet face wake up in excitement so we swap each year having her spend Christmas Eve and Christmas AM with 1 parent and then going to the other parent at 12PM through Christmas night. We make adjustments with our family as to what year it is and it works out great. (Having family support is such a plus in this!) This way we get to spend Christmas with her each year.

Thanksgiving: She is with 1 parent for breakfast/lunch and 1 parent for dinner and we swap each year.

Mother’s Day & Father’s Day: Regardless of whose week it is, she is with that parent for the day/night.

Halloween: We both enjoy doing this with her and even though we get along great, we don’t take her out together. So, we decided to rotate this.

New Years Eve: This too is a holiday that we rotate each year. I am OK with this as I prefer bedtime early! HA

Parent Day Lunch: This one is a no brainier….. we BOTH come and eat with our girl!

Birthday: This one changed after her 2nd birthday party. On her 2nd b-day I had a party for her with all her friends from daycare. Soon after, I received a call from daddy letting me know he had heard what a wonderful time it was and wished he would have been able to attend her party where all her friends were. After giving this much consideration and prayer, I decided to include her dad in her b-day parties. I LOVE planning the party so I take that responsibility and give dad a few things to get. We have joined this special event for 2 years now and it works out great! She ignores us both and plays with her friends knowing both mommy and daddy are there to support her. This decision was not taken so well by family members who still had their own feelings to deal with but once the decision was made, the choice was then theirs. Attend and support…. or don’t. As I stated in my last post, people will react how you respond to this.

First Events: We both were their to witness her ear piercing, dentist appointment and hair cut.

Dr. Appointments: When she is sick we both attend the appointment. This is good so we know what the Dr says and we are able to care for her in the proper way. Our girl was diagnosed with Vitiligo (a skin condition) and we both researched this, attended the Dr’s visit’s and agreed that no further treatment would be taken. It is SO important to learn to work together on the little things so when the big things happen you are a team. A team means having the same goal in the end and doing it together. Our daughter is the goal, the prize if you will.

Pre-K & Kindergarten: You guessed it! We both attended the orientation, parent meetings and such.

School Events: Again, both parents to include our parents and my new family.

I encourage you to work together! When I see the look on my girls face as she witness’ her dad and I getting along and supporting each other I know we are doing this for her! She is a beautiful gift given to us both from above. It took two people who a long time ago decided to bring her into this world so it should include us both to raise her.

Just the other day she was daydreaming of the beach and decided that mommy, daddy & her step-daddy were all going, along with her grandparents on both sides and her new sisters. It was a fine daydream until the sleeping arrangements were discussed. She had daddy and step-daddy having a sleep over!!!! HA! To her it was not a big deal….. because we all get along!

XOXO
Amanda

“Don’t worry that your kids never listen to you; worry that they are always watching you.”
~Robert Fulghum